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GENDER ROLES AND SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

admin — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 14:04:11 +0000

The gender roles in most societies have a strong impact on sexual attitudes and behavior. For example, in America it is still widely thought that males are innately more interested in sex than females, that males characteristically assume an active role in sex while females are characteristically passive, and that male sexual arousal occurs quickly and automatically, while females require sweet talk and special handling and even then have only a precarious degree of arousability. Each of these stereotypes has some behavioral consequences: in general, men try to measure up to the cultural expectations and women often accept the notion of being second-class citizens from a sexual viewpoint.

By looking at a culture that has a very different set of expectations about sexual interaction, we can see how limiting these stereotypes are. In Mangaia, a tiny Polynesian island in the South Pacific, the cultural message is that sexual pleasure is for everyone. As a result: “Less than one out of a hundred girls, and even fewer boys — if, indeed, there are any exceptions in either sex — have not had substantial sexual experience prior to marriage” Female sexual passivity is frowned on among Mangaians, and sexual intimacy does not require prior establishment of personal affection. Girls are expected to learn to be orgasmic at a young age, and although their first sexual experiences are likely to be with boys of their own age, older and more experienced partners soon become desirable because they can give more sexual pleasure. One particularly interesting observation: “upon hearing that some American and European women cannot or do not achieve the climax, the Mangaian immediately asks (with real concern) whether this inability will not injure the married woman’s health.” On Mangaia, all women learn to be orgasmic.

We have previously mentioned the double standard that applies to sexual behavior in our society. According to the traditional double standard, males are permitted to have premarital sexual experience while females are expected to remain virgins. After marriage, while fidelity is “officially” expected, it is acknowledged that men might roam and women are expected to remain faithful. In recent years, the double standard has undergone some subtle changes. Many teenagers have discarded the belief that female virginity is necessary or desirable, but it now seems that a young woman must wait for a “serious relationship” to have intercourse, while young men are not so strongly saddled with this expectation.

The double standard also assigns responsibility for being the sexual “expert” to the male. The male is expected to initiate sexual interaction, to control the timing and tempo, to select the proper activities to bring about his partner’s arousal, and to bring his partner to orgasm. While this version of the double standard (the idea that sex is something a man does “for” a woman) may be an improvement on the older belief that “good” women had no sexual feelings (in this view, sex was something a man did “to” a woman for his own release), it hardly encourages flexibility and sharing.

The double standard and its variations can create a number of sexual problems. The female, for example, may develop a narrow view of sexual interaction. Feeling that she must prevent the male from “trying to get all he can,” her potential pleasure is decreased by her need to set limits. The male, on the other hand, may feel compelled to prove his masculinity by making sexual advances even when he is not particularly in the mood or attracted to his companion.

It now appears that the sexual double standard, like many other gender-role stereotypes, is beginning to be replaced by concepts of equal opportunity and mutual interaction. What a great many men and women are learning is that they cannot achieve the pleasure they both want until they realize that sex is not something a man does to or for a woman but something a man and woman do together as equal participants.

The woman who honors her sexuality learns that she can,

when she chooses, express openly the full range of her excitement and involvement — the delight of wanting and being

wanted, touching and being touched, seeing and being seen, hearing words and uttering them, of fragrances and textures, silence and sounds. The man who appreciates her as a partner can enjoy letting go of responsibility for her satisfaction and can savor her varying moods and desires in conjunction with his own.

The responsiveness of both partners is based on acceptance of each other as vulnerable human beings with unique needs, expectations, and capabilities. Both can express their creative impulses without fear of violating the gender-role expectations of ladyhood or chivalry. Emotional needs, which vary with the mood, time, and place, are not labeled “masculine” and “feminine.” Each partner can appreciate the other’s sexual urges. If their sexual needs conflict at times, they can gently negotiate a solution — not as representatives of two different sexes but as two separate partners united by a mutual concern.

Sexual emancipation grows out of a sense of self-respect and personal freedom. If you are nothing to yourself, you have nothing to give and expect nothing in return. Sexually perhaps you might consider yourself useful, as an object is useful, but that is all. Before a true partnership is possible, both individuals must have pride in themselves and feel happy in being male or female.

At least half the potential pleasure of the sexual experience comes from how a partner responds. If there is virtually no reaction, or at best passive acceptance, the emotional current steadily weakens and eventually flickers and goes dead. However, with an actively involved partner, one individual’s spontaneous feelings, spontaneously communicated, stimulate the other and heighten his or her tensions, impelling that person to act on his or her own impulses. Whatever she gives him returns to her and whatever he gives her comes back to him.

The relationship between the sexes is often conceived in terms of a misleading image: two on a seesaw. Power is the pivot, and if one sex goes up, the other must come down. What women gain, men lose. But the sexual relationship itself shows the analogy to be false. What men and women achieve together benefits both — the quality of life, as it is individually experienced, can be greatly expanded by a fully shared partnership.

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PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE – DEFINITION

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:31:49 +0000

Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is a syndrome of inflammatory disease of the female upper genital tract, particularly the fallopian tubes (salpingitis) and other adnexal structures. The major sexually transmitted infections which may cause the initial episode of PID are gonorrhoeae and chlamydia. The pathogenicity of the genital mycoplasmas including Ureaplasma urealyticum and other organisms is not well defined.

Enteric organisms and anaerobic bacteria which are commonly present in the lower genital tract may complicate PID caused by sexually transmitted infections or cause PID when the integrity of the genital tract is impaired for example by an intrauterine contraceptive device (IUCD), parturition, abortion or gynaecological surgery.
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REACTIVE ARTHRITIS AND REITER’S DISEASE

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:28:23 +0000

Aseptic arthritis associated with genital tract infection is the commonest cause of acute arthritis in young adults.

Reiter’s disease is a syndrome characterised by reactive arthropathy, eye involvement and urethritis. It usually follows infection with С trachomatis. It is IS times more common in men than in women and is manifested by urethritis with one or more extragenital immune complications such as arthritis of the knees, ankle, spine (notably a sacroiliitis), metatarsophalangeals, wrists, elbows or tarsals, plantar fasciitis, conjunctivitis or uveitis or skin involvement (circinate balanitis or keratoderma blenorrhagica). Symptoms may occur together or sequentially. The acute disease is usually self-limited and remits after a few months. Recurrence is common. About 10% of patients develop chronic disease. Cardiac conduction disturbance or aortic incompetence may develop after some years.

Reiter’s disease may be a rare complication of gonococcal urethritis. It may also complicate gastrointestinal infections particularly shigellosis, but also infections due to salmonella and yersinia.

Reiter’s disease is one of a group of reactive arthropathies including ankylosing spondylitis and psoriatic arthritis which are commonly associated with the HLA-B27 histocompatability antigen.
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THE HARMONIOUS COUPLE – SEXUAL HARMONY (CONCLUSION)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:37:16 +0000

All of the foregoing couples worked at their relationships, keeping them in alignment. Their harmony involved day-by-day dedication, commitment, and perseverance. They accepted the total reality of each other as well as of themselves, and did not let their defensive postures run their lives or sabotage their relationships. They remained open and devoted to making the relationship work—no matter the cost in time and effort. They did not let the political trends swirling around them affect their very personal, one-to-one dance of life.

Harmony has been a prime subject of philosophers and psychologists through all recorded time. The following poem by Lao Tzu describes the quality of harmony to which I refer:

When we achieve harmony with another person sexually, we achieve a moment of immortality. During that moment we are at one with life, and we have “no place for death.” During that moment love and life are reborn, and death and destruction—along with all the rigid defensive postures that enact them—are rendered inactive, ceasing to have an influence on our relationships.

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GAMES TO RESTORE TENDERNESS – INTRODUCTION

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:31:39 +0000

While the preceding chapters might be called the bread and butter of this book, this chapter might be considered the dessert. Until now, the games have been designed to get couples in touch with the defensive postures and underlying blocked feelings inside them. This constitutes the main work of overcoming blocks to effective relating. Once aspiring lovers have done that, it is relatively easy to restore tenderness. They may not even need to play any of the games in this chapter to do so. However, I include them so as to point out one of the many paths.

Basically, these games are concerned with the expression of feelings connected with tenderness: need, fear, gratitude, respect, trust, love. Of course, these are not the only tender feelings, and there are as many ways to express these as there are couples. This is merely an outline that may or may not apply to each couple. Each will modify the games for their own purposes.

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GAMES FOR POLITICALLY OR MORALLY CORRECT COUPLES – GAME 2: MORALLY CORRECT SEX (PART 1)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:25:35 +0000

Players: Husband and wife. Activist/s: Wife or both. Setting: Home or hotel.

Aim: Force husband to confront underlying fears by engaging in a sexual experience that exaggerates moral correctness.

Game Plan: This game is a variation on the previous one, but the goal is the same. The wife can pull this game on her morally self-righteous husband if she thinks that will work, or else elicit his mutual participation in it. In this instance, the wife gently mocks her husband’s attitude by being exaggeratedly compliant and religious.

One evening, when the husband comes to her for sex and is about to mount her without any warm-up, the wife stops him.

“Wait, dear. Let’s pray first.” “Pray? What for?”

“Because marriage is a sacrament and sexual intercourse is its holy shrine.”

“All right—if you insist.”

They both kneel down beside the bed.

“Lord, please bless this holy merger of male and female.”

“Amen.”

“And bless my dearest husband.” “Amen.”

“And bless his holy penis.” “Amen.”

“Which carries the holy seeds of life.” “Amen.”

“And bless this bed upon which we shall lie.” “I think that’s enough blessing, dear.” “All right, dear.”

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GAMES FOR ANGRY COUPLES – GAME 4: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (PART 3)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:20:01 +0000

“What do you want with me?” the Beauty asks. “I told you. To be my wife.” “That’s impossible.” “Why?”

“Because you disgust me.” “So?”

“You’re a creep.” “So?”

“You’re a pig.” “So?”

“You’re a beast.” “So?”

“I couldn’t stand for you to touch me.”

“You’ll love me someday.”

“Never!”

This conversation (or a variation on it) may be repeated several times over a period of days. At the same time. Beauty repels all of the Beast’s advances. However, he takes good care of her in other ways, ingratiating himself to her—preparing meals fit for a princess, entertaining her, tucking her in at night, reading bedtime stories about princes and princesses.

“If you think all this kindness is going to get anywhere with me, you’re mistaken,” Beauty says. “You still repel me.”

“That’s all right. I just like being nice to you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true, my dear Beauty. You will see!”

After days of this treatment, he begins to win her over. Gradually she begins to fall for him.

“You know, you have a nice smile for a beast.”

“Thank you.”

“And you are a very kind person.” “Thank you.”

“Kindness is very important.” “It’s nice to have it appreciated.”

“Every beast has some good in him, and it’s important to cultivate that goodness rather than picking at the badness.”

“What a wonderful thing to say. I wish my wife had said things like that.”

“You’re married?”

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GAMES FOR PERVERSE COUPLES – INTRODUCTION

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:07:28 +0000

Games for perverse couples abound both in life and in literature. In days of yore, such games were played secretly in bedrooms, back alleys, and basements. Today, one encounters more and more couples engaging openly in perverse games, such as those advertised in the “adult classified” pages of newspapers. They are referred to as (S&M), role-playing, and sometimes even sex therapy!

In perverted sex, sexuality is turned into an experience whose aim is no longer primarily the expression of love and tenderness and/or the reproduction of the species. Rather, it is concerned with discharging aggression and assuaging envy, guilt, and fear, as well as with repeating compulsively certain sexual dramas that are rooted in unresolved childhood sexual experiences and conditioning. Children who are molested by an uncle or aunt often grow up to be pedophiles themselves. In molesting little boys or girls, they will not only reenact what was done to them but also will discharge repressed anger, displacing it onto their new sexual objects. A boy who is dressed in a girl’s clothing by a mother or aunt who was disappointed to have a male child often will grow up to be a transvestite. By wearing women’s clothing, he both reenacts his childhood conditioning and discharges aggression (by defying convention), castration fear (hiding behind a skirt), and envy of women. Children who are severely punished or humiliated for some kind of infantile sexual play will grow up to enjoy sadomasochistic sex. They will both reenact the abusive trauma of their childhood and discharge repressed aggression onto their new objects. (The favorite fantasy of couples who engage in S&M is for one of them to play the punishing parent and the other to play the naughty child.)

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TRICHOMONIASIS: TREATMENT

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:15:39 +0000

Only one medication has been shown to be effective in the treatment of trichomoniasis: metronidazole. Although this medicine is also available as a cream, only the pill form is effective for trichomoniasis treatment. The cream form does not treat the infection in the urethra and genital glands; therefore, even though the symptoms disappear, recurrence is common. Metronidazole can be taken in a large single dose or in smaller quantities spread over a week. Both of these regimens cure the infection about 95 percent of the time in men and women. If symptoms persist after treatment, a follow-up examination is recommended. The sexual contacts over the past two months of anyone who has been diagnosed with trichomonas infection must also be treated.

When this course of metronidazole does not work, a higher dose of the medication must be taken over a longer time, and this is often best done in consultation with a specialist in sexually transmitted infections. Those being treated for trichomoniasis should not have sexual contact until they and their partners have been treated, have taken all their medication, and have achieved complete resolution of their symptoms.

A word about metronidazole and its side effects: This medication should not be taken with alcohol, since the combination can cause violent nausea and vomiting. It is a good idea not to have any alcohol forty-eight hours before taking the medication, while you are taking it, and forty-eight hours after taking it. It can also cause stomach upset and a metallic taste in the mouth.

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HIV SYMTOMS: MONITORING OF THE CD4

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:59:35 +0000

AIDS is defined in an HIV-positive person as a syndrome comprising various clinical conditions, a drop of the CD4 count to below 200, or both criteria.

A person with AIDS is usually monitored by measuring the level of his or her CD4 cells. A healthy person typically has a count of more than 500 cells; as this number declines, the body becomes vulnerable to outside infections and also to malignancies.

Some infections are more likely to occur at certain times during; a person’s illness, depending on what the CD4 count is. The only symptoms that a person with a CD4 count greater than 500 may have are lymph node swelling and, for women, recurrent vaginal yeast infections. Many people in this category, however, experience no symptoms. When the CD4 count drops into the 200-500 range, infected persons are more likely to be vulnerable to pneumococcal pneumonia, pulmonary tuberculosis, herpes zoster (shingles), oral Candida (yeast) infection, cervical cancer, anemia, Kaposi’s sarcoma, and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma among other diseases. Persons with CD4 counts that fall within the 100-200 range are more vulnerable to Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, AIDS dementia, and wasting syndrome (the inability to maim-tain a normal body weight).

People with CD4 counts between 50 and 100 are more likely to develop cytomegalovirus retinitis, toxoplasmosis, and cryptococcosis.

And those with CD4 counts less than 50 may develop Mycobacterium avium complex infection, cryptosporidiosis, progressive multifocal leukencephalopathy, and primary central nervous system lymphoma.

Careful monitoring of the CD4 counts makes it possible to take prophylactic medications at the appropriate time to help protect against many of these infections or at least delay their onset.

Medications to treat the HIV infection and keep the immune system functioning can help protect against these infections for some time.

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