STRESS: SEARCHING FOR THE QUALITY OF LIFE
Yearning
Every now and then people come and consult me professionally, not because they are ill, but because they feel that they are missing out on something; they feel that their quality of life could be better.
“Not a complaint for what I do not have; but a yearning for something better, and knowing that the barrier is within me, within myself.’
‘I have the feeling that life could be better, together with the knowledge that such an experience is not dependent on the material circumstances of our life.”
The barrier that holds us back from this experience is the tension, anxiety and defensiveness engendered by stress.
Just look for a moment at the one or two people whom you know and whom you feel have moved in the direction of a heightened quality of life. They are all people who, by our standards, are remarkably free of stress.
Turning to religion
“As a young person I was quite religious. I had strong beliefs, and used to pray. In fact, at one time I had ideas of having a religious life. I suppose they were just vague ideas, but they soon left me. There were so many distractions of life around me. There was my job, then love, and then later the children. Now with this trouble, this going to pieces of myself, I have tried to return to religion; but it does not help. I don’t experience the reality of it as I once did. I feel barren.”
Many people suffering from stress have talked with me about their experience of turning to religion for help. Like the person just quoted, many of these have been people who have had an active religious life in childhood and their youth, but have dropped it when taken up with the distractions and problems of early adult life.
Two clear patterns of reaction have emerged from talking with these people. Those who are disturbed by stress, and who turn to religion with the object of obtaining relief from their symptoms, in general do not get much help. However, there is a second group, equally disturbed with symptoms of stress, who turn to religion, not for the express purpose of getting help from their distress, but rather for an inner need to find some religious experience. This second group, unlike the first group, does in fact gain relief from their stress, although they have not directly asked for it.
I think the explanation is along these lines. Those who call upon God – ‘Help me, help me, help me!’ – are in fact increasing the level of their anxiety, and the physiological effect is actually an increase in the severity of their symptoms. On the other hand, those who seek some kind of religious experience, simply because they feel the need of it, gain an inner calm. The level of their anxiety is reduced, and the severity of their symptoms wanes.
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