HOW WE LEARN OUR SEXUAL BELIEFS
How each of us expresses our sexuality depends on our understanding of it. We learn about from our families, our peers, the media, schools government, and our personal experiences. This mix is very different for each of us. That is why each of us has an understanding of our sexuality that different from other people’s.
What We Learn from Our Families
Every family teaches messages about our beliefs about sexuality on what we on the moral, religious, and philosophical values that bind our families together.
Some families never talk about sex send messages about sexuality, but they still send messages about sexuality by not talking about it. It may be confusing for
members of the family to interpret these silent messages or understand the values that are intended. The silence could mean that sex is considered something private that should not be discussed within the family. It could mean that members of the family are not comfortable discussing it. It could mean that sexuality is not considered important. It could also mean that sex is considered too dangerous to talk about. Open discussion about sexuality helps family members understand the family’s values and what its messages about sexuality really mean. Children and adults in such families are better informed and more likely to share accurate information. They are also more likely to be able to provide guidance and comfort to one another as they learn about themselves on their sexual journey through life.
What We Learn from Our Peers
It is good to be able to talk about sexuality with friends. They can provide us with friends. They can provide us with comfort, understanding, love, and advice. In fact, many of us trust our friends more than we trust other sources of information. Unfortunately, many rumors and myths about sexuality get passed on through word of mouth among peers.
Some of these myths result from wishful thinking and can be dangerous. For example, it is important to know that girls can get pregnant the first time they have sex or if they are raped. Lots of people, adults as well as kids, don’t know this because they believed and repeated incorrect information. It is important to know where our friends learn what they tell us. Likewise, we should double-check information before we pass it on to our friends.
What We Learn from the Media
There’s a lot of sex in the media, and many people get their sexuality information from the media. The problem is that the media rarely depict sex accurately. They offer us a lot of mixed messages about sexuality as they exploit sex and sexuality to sell products and ideas. Our families may teach us that sex is serious and that sexual responsibility is important. In the media, sex is glamorous! Sex is for the beautiful! Sex is impulsive! Sex has no consequences!
Advertisers use sex as a selling strategy because young people often have a good deal of money at their disposal. Young people are also naturally very curious about sex. Sex is the perfect hook to hold their attention while products are being pitched. The technique works just as well for people who are no longer young. Most of us remain curious about sex throughout our lives.
We may learn valuable information and ideas about sexuality from TV programs, magazine articles, music videos, or movies. There are some very informative programs and publications, but it is important for us to be critical users of the media so we can sort the realities from the fantasies and the healthy messages from the unhealthy ones.
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